throughmylens

 head over here for a glimpse of what I've been seeing throughmylens lately.

Our Thanksgiving Film

Every year I take photos of our thanksgiving, but this year I decided to just throw together a quick film. I'm no videographer & I don't plant to be, but I do enjoy throwing together fun home videos. I grew up watching old family videos, and they are something my family forever treasures. These videos may not be amazing or beautifully edited (heck,  I barely even edited this one), but I know they will be treasured now and the years to come. Oh, and you can scroll down for our annual Thanksgiving photos.

look how small C was last year here!! Other family films here!

I promise this isn't me with another man

... It's my sister and her man. But trust me, I'm well aware of the fact that we look like twins. And I'm okay with that, because she's crazy pretty:)

If you'd like to see more of their session, just click here

She Said Yes : my brother's proposal

 

One of my triplet brothers proposed a few weekends back... gosh, saying that still seems so crazy. To me, he's still that little boy with only underwear and boots on running around with a toy gun chasing his brothers. I love this kid. My little brothers mean the absolute world to me. I'm three years older and was always trying to be their momma. Although they never listened, I still feel like a momma bear to them. I've been praying for their future wives since I was 12. Women who will fit right into our family, love my brothers, encourage them, support them, and shine Jesus. When Ricky brought Alyssa over to a family Christmas event a little over three years ago, I'll admit, I was skeptical. Because, that's the job of the sister. No girl is good enough for my little brother, we say. Until there is that girl who your brother isn't good enough for because she's like ten levels of awesomeness. You know, she's like waaayyy out of his league and then somehow he charms her into dating him. That's Alyssa. She's the way out of his league girl. And we couldn't be more excited for their wedding.

He proposed at Starbucks (where they went on their very first date). She didn't even know he had a ring (which he picked out by himself and it's ballllerrrr). Everyone got there before her and helped him set up. I'm telling you that wait was the worst. So. much. anxiety.

All of her (and his) friends and family were stuffed into the two bathrooms. I waited out back with Ricky & then we both sneaked in when she wasn't looking.  Once she saw Ricky & they sat down, everyone came out of the bathrooms. Needless to say, she totally didn't see this coming & every thing went off without a hitch.

 ^^ I mean, presious

June 14th can't come soon enough. Can't wait to have a 3rd sister!!

Real Life Diaries : My Miscarriage

Psalm 112:7  

He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.

I've avoided writing this post like the plague, but I think I'm ready to blabber out all my thoughts, get them written, get this post over with, and try to figure out how to press forward.

I miscarried.

This past 2 weeks has been the most insane. Let me just give you a brief recap. My sister miscarries, my brother gets engaged, I find out I'm pregnant but that somethings wrong, the Lord works a miracle in my family's life, spiritual warfare hits me like never before, I spend an entire week in and out of the ER & doctor's office praying and hoping that somehow my pregnancy makes it.

I feel like I've been living in this waiting room. Living in the uncertainty is hands down one of the most depressing places to linger in. A trip to the ER after taking a positive at home pregnancy test, but having two weeks worth of bleeding happened last Sunday. It was a useless trip. They couldn't tell me a definite answer. I then spent all of last week in and out of the doctor's office 9 times having my blood taken & multiple ultrasounds. My doctor worried that since my levels were slowly rising, but because they were weeks behind what they should be, that I was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy. I begged the Lord for that to not be so.

On Friday, I was told that my levels went down. Thus meaning a miscarriage but not ectopic. I don't even know if I can accurately describe my emotions from it all. I'm obviously upset and devastated of our loss. Having C shows me what I'm missing and that's heart breaking. Losing a baby, no matter how far along, is always, always difficult. I'm relieved that it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy. I'm scared it will happen again. I'm mostly numb, confused how to feel. I never was allowed to celebrate this pregnancy, it was ended before I even knew it began. To me, that's just evidence of the Lord's grace. I can't imagine how much harder it would be for me if I had known and gotten excited. The Lord rescued me from that. I'm at peace. I know the Lord is always good. He was incredibly gracious in His timing. Because my family was experiencing great joy from another situation, my focus was more on that joy than my own grief.  I'm joyful. Jesus is my true joy, not my present circumstances.
John Piper says it best, “the human quest for joy leads straight to the missionary heart of God. You can see it already. But let me put it together: God is the fountain of joy because he is blindingly glorious, and infinitely worthy, and breathtakingly beautiful, and awesome in power, and inscrutable in wisdom, and limitless in knowledge, and tender in mercy, and terrible in wrath, and the source and foundation of all truth and goodness and beauty. When we see him for what he really is, and turn from all the broken cisterns of the world that cannot satisfy (Jeremiah 2:13), we find "joy unspeakable and full of glory" (1 Peter 1:8).

I'm also thankful. Thankful that we are adopting, that even though we lost one child, I have another child on the way. I'm overwhelmed by God's grace and comfort. Knowing that I will one day see this child in perfection overwhelms me with gratitude.

I know that every woman struggles and deals with her miscarriage differently & that is perfectly okay. And while I'm devastated my sister experienced a miscarriage, I'm thankful we can heal together. Her healing process will be completely different from mine, and although our situations are entirely different, she still understands what I'm going through. And even when I feel alone in my situation, when I feel like no one really, truly understands what I'm feeling, I know that God knows.
 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.”

And I just have to add that I have the most incredible husband. He allowed me to grieve in a way that made sense to me. He's held my hand, cuddled me, reassured me, and loved me through this all. He's served his guts out & taken care of our son. He exudes Christ's love to me & I'm so thankful.

oh, and reading this post helped a lot. I had no idea when I asked her to write that post, that I would be reading it one day for myself. Girlfriend nailed exactly what I wanted to say here today. GO read that post, especially if you are suffering from or have ever suffered with a miscarriage. I couldn't have said it better myself!! So thankful for this girl & all my other friends and family who loved on us, cooked us dinner, cleaned our home, sent us encouraging texts, and most importantly prayed for us. There is simply nothing quite like the body of Christ.

All of this for the Glory of the Lord. He is so good. 

THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!

 Just stopping by quickly today. I have 6 sessions this weekend with a few other meetings & what not mixed in. This week has been quite the blur. My closest loved ones are hurting & some other stuff. Honestly, I'm ready for this week to be d o n e, but I'm thankful for how good the Lord has been through it all. But I'm stopping by today to share this. Because this was just what I needed to hear today. And I'm hoping you'll read it, and it will be what you needed to read too.

Yada, Yada, Yada.

Read THIS.

Hump Day

I'm over HERE today sharing a little bit about our adoption. I really encourage you to check out this series that Megan is hosting over on her blog. It's been so incredibly encouraging to me during this hard waiting season. Thanks Meg for letting me guest post!

Happy Hump Day, friends. What am I doing today? Oh you know, just editing alll day:) And don't misunderstand that, I'm thankful!!